Even this
Even now across this distance
I still feel the muzzle
I’d respect it more if it had anything to do
With a personal concept of god
But no
It’s inconsistent
It’s arbitrary
It’s afraid
I scream at it in dreams
It rises up in me
Like a clot of roots and worms
I was grown
I could use those words
I could take those pictures
My art was my art
In my advanced age
I’m still jealous of children
Who’re free to express themselves
It makes me sick, it makes me shake
With an urge to shock and disgust
What did you see at that latchkey house -
a pornographic calendar? a sideshow tryst?
Whatever it was it had nothing to do with me
Hey
Remember that time I loved a woman
And managed to goad you
Into admitting what you feared for
Was my soul
How like you to not even believe in hell
But hedge your bets nonetheless
No wonder I ended up in insurance
To this day I spitefully, gleefully replay
The time she shared my piece of cake
Right out there in public
Her sculptured collarbone
Under my voracious gaze
A moody, enveloping record from Zane Coppard, where dense and intricately crafted atmospheres cradle yearning vocals. Bandcamp New & Notable Aug 1, 2021
Intimate pop; Bollinger's vocals sound almost confidential as she muses on relationship neuroses over woozy, breezy instrumentation. Bandcamp New & Notable Jun 18, 2019