1. |
No One Ever Plans
01:03
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"No one ever plans"
But here’s the thing
They do
It makes me want to map out ten funerals in front of you
It’s so frustrating
You had a scare
And when you lucked out
You put off everything again
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2. |
Don't Be Sad
02:17
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"Don’t be sad"
A way to cut anger off at the pass
Because if anger is recognized
Then maybe you’re forced to see
That it’s also justified
I dare you to look head-on at this ugliness
Screw what you call serendipity
Your sense of smiling fate
That’s really just your entitlement
And tired folks rolling over
My consideration is not flagellation
My self-awareness is not self-hatred
And shrugging off baggage of generations
Is not dereliction of duty
You’ve made me the bully on the playground
Hair in fist
Face in mud, going
Say it Say it
Say it Say it
Say it Say it
Hell even if you did
You wouldn’t mean it
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3. |
Secret Sparrow
01:52
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Secret Sparrow
Don’t get conspiratorial with me
Just cos I’ve got ovaries
There is no secret sisterhood
For hiding shit from your husband
Till it piles up in the corners
Swells to fill the room
Like Ionesco’s corpse
All full of you
No room for him
Don’t ask for my sympathy
Because all the men around you are angry
Guess how they got that way
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4. |
Emasculating Adjectives
01:10
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Only when it suits you
Do you deem it all too much
Performative begging
Performative tulips for their help
Spilling gritty details
That undermine his personhood
As his voice box rusts
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5. |
The Cabinet
01:17
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The Cabinet
Just another arbitrary fixation
At the expense of all else
It looms It looms It looms
Over his childhood reveries
Even his wet dreams
The quintessential symbol
Of her getting her way
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6. |
Naysayer
04:34
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Always why not Always why not
Always why not Always why not
Propriety privacy (property!)
Propriety privacy (property!)
Even this
Even now across this distance
I still feel the muzzle
I’d respect it more if it had anything to do
With a personal concept of god
But no
It’s inconsistent
It’s arbitrary
It’s afraid
I scream at it in dreams
It rises up in me
Like a clot of roots and worms
I was grown
I could use those words
I could take those pictures
My art was my art
In my advanced age
I’m still jealous of children
Who’re free to express themselves
It makes me sick, it makes me shake
With an urge to shock and disgust
What did you see at that latchkey house -
a pornographic calendar? a sideshow tryst?
Whatever it was it had nothing to do with me
Hey
Remember that time I loved a woman
And managed to goad you
Into admitting what you feared for
Was my soul
How like you to not even believe in hell
But hedge your bets nonetheless
No wonder I ended up in insurance
To this day I spitefully, gleefully replay
The time she shared my piece of cake
Right out there in public
Her sculptured collarbone
Under my voracious gaze
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7. |
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My back hurts and my brain turns bad
But I don’t have the choice you had
To hang it up
Lord knows if I could I would in a heartbeat
Sitting life out makes you out of touch
Your pampered judgments removed and harsh
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8. |
Hannigan
01:02
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Hannigan
Freud didn’t even consider
The existence of me:
The Oedipal female
Fuck yeah I went there
Chasing the anxious and theatrical
The ones with gaslights twinkling
The ones who don’t turn it off
When you tap out
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9. |
AM Friends
01:17
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AM Friends
You always loved a blowhard
Is it because they’re big men like your father
Is it because you need a man to take control
Is a feminine man really the downfall of the Western World
Or just a kick to your crutch
Leaving you to your own wits
Flailing
I’m woman enough to like my men
Graceful and waifish
Docile on weekends
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10. |
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"I’ll know by the way you carry yourself"
You think we’re cruel
With all our harsh confessions
But I think we kids actually look for ways to excuse you
Empathy more natural than the alternative
So what I can say for you is
Maybe you wouldn’t have white-knuckled it
So hard if I hadn’t been a loner like you
Ok maybe it’s true
I wish I’d just stayed their bro
But I wouldn’t say I am ashamed
Sorry if the tiniest regret would finish you
Anyway thanks for making me paranoid
I couldn’t trust my body or my mind
And I would do a thing and it wouldn’t fly
And I’d never know they were talking behind my back
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11. |
Digger
02:44
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Digger
The path forms through twisted root and vine
The force that propels it is the fear borne of a lucrative lie
But hey
The silence is peaceful
The bench is quaint
The birds are sweet
You’d always zero in on the pock, the zit
The tiny eyesore at the wonder’s edge
You’d always say a thing then pedal it back
Like the lawyer who spews then motions to strike
It’s out there already
It’s poisoned the air and the minds
But “why oh why are you so sensitive all the time”
You searched me for bulimia
Shoulda sniffed me for booze
For seeing myself as litter on the breeze
A nihilism born of having no impact
On another’s irrationality
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Sold Kingdom Charlottesville, Virginia
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