Why I Can't Stop This Completely

from Best Dead Masterpiece by Sold Kingdom

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lyrics

Why I Can't Stop This Completely

I wrote to him again last night
After I truly thought I was done with it
His rhetoric in recent years
Had distanced me enough
To make me slam the book shut
But I was drunk
And the music sounded beautiful
And the tree from his old yard
Was toppled by a storm this year
That left its massive root system
Flung up vertical

And whereas the replies sometimes
Used to take a year
This time it was overnight
And enclosed
Was a snapshot of the view
Right in front of him

And I never used to be
Able to write about him like this
Just state the facts
Instead of some idiotically
Thirsty-sounding mythology
That neither of us had earned

And maybe for the first time
His words are spare
And not suggestive of anything
And there's one part I especially like:
"There's nothing wrong with nostalgia"
And - ah - that's why
I can't stop this completely
He's the only one I know
Who truly believes that
And would say it aloud to me

And I really don't want to "catch up"
Would rather keep the notion of him
At arm's length
Scared how much of the old character is left
But also scared how much of him is gone

Some people you never won't question
Some people you never won't question yourself around

credits

from Best Dead Masterpiece, track released August 15, 2020
Music and Lyrics: Leia Alexandra Manuel

All audio property of L.A.M. except: Audio clips from Mad Men episode "The Wheel"

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Sold Kingdom Charlottesville, Virginia

Soothingly brutal bystander balladry

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